I dreamed that I married a man from mainland China. In the dream, I was portrayed as a pitiful Taiwanese woman. Mainland Chinese men had come to Taiwan seeking wives, and my mother said it was because "both sides are one family," and that marrying one might allow me to share in the husband's assets.
At first, life seemed peaceful. But later, relations between Taiwan and China deteriorated. Society became filled with suspicion, everyone turning against each other, fighting desperately just to survive.
Eventually, I couldn’t even tell if I could trust my mainland Chinese husband. Whenever I saw him in the dream, I would act like a madwoman—screaming and pretending to be insane—because I believed he was going to kill me.
He kept saying he wasn’t trying to kill me. But I couldn’t tell if he was being truthful. I thought, If I keep acting crazy, maybe he’ll spare me. Otherwise, I’ll have to fight him to the death. Either I kill him to survive, or he kills me—and I’ll just go reincarnate sooner.
This husband of mine actually appeared kind and gentle. He asked me to trust him and promised he wouldn’t betray me. But the entire society had become so fake and insincere, I couldn’t tell if his kindness was real or just an act to lure me in before striking.
I remember constantly hiding from him. Whenever he came near, I’d scream wildly. The whole environment was about survival—people were trying to use one another just to stay alive. Trust became impossible. In the end, he left me.
The dream felt deeply sorrowful. I couldn’t even trust the person I married. In a world where survival required manipulation and betrayal, people would push others into ruin and disgrace just to seize their share of wealth. It wasn’t just about my husband—this applied to everyone.
In the dream, I was such a pitiful woman. To survive, I had to play the fool, act deranged. Only then did people let their guard down around me. I had to keep my hair disheveled, scream constantly, and behave like a lunatic so people would avoid me. Only when I was completely alone could I be myself—sit quietly and enjoy a moment of peace, free from the need to act insane.
Later, the scene shifted. I saw myself as an old woman—a wise elder. I was invited to speak in different places, sharing my life story and the experience of marrying a man from mainland China.
I explained how, at first, it had been a happy marriage. But over time, Taiwanese society grew increasingly prejudiced and unaccepting of mainland Chinese people. This tension slowly poisoned the marriage. I no longer believed my husband would truly care for me, and he believed I had married him for his money. Society had been torn apart by distrust. Eventually, it turned into a battle of survival—kill or be killed. To stay alive, I screamed at everyone, acted insane, so they’d think I’d already lost my mind and would spare me. Life had no quality at all.
In the final scene, I was on stage being interviewed. I had white hair and looked content, at peace, living a well-off, solitary life.
夢見我嫁給大陸人。夢裡，我是那種很可憐的台灣婦女，大陸男人來台灣找女子結婚，那時候媽媽說因為兩岸是一家人，以後也可以分到男方的財產。原本日子很和諧，可是後來台灣和大陸關係不好，整個社會變得相互猜忌，彼此鬥爭拼死活，好讓自己能夠活命。
到後來，我也不確定是否能信任我的大陸老公。在夢裡，只要看到他的時候，我就把自己弄成像瘋子，不斷尖叫，裝瘋賣傻，因為我覺得他要來殺我。
他說他沒有要殺我啊！可是我不知道他的話是真是假，想說我只要裝瘋賣傻，他或許就會饒我一命，否則我就得和他拼個你死我活，不是把他殺死，我才有活下來的機會，不然的話就是他殺死我，我早點去投胎。
這大陸老公看來其實很和善，要我相信他，說他不會出賣我。但整個社會都變得虛情假意，我也搞不清楚他的友善是真還是假，還是只是要騙我上當，再殺死我。
我只記得在夢裡我一直躲著他，只要他靠近，我就狂叫。因為整個大環境就是為了生存，大家都想盡辦法利用別人，來讓自己可以活下來，所以無法相信任何人。最後，他就離開我了。
感覺這是一個很悲哀的夢境，就是沒有辦法信任你的另一半。整個社會氛圍，為了生存，彼此勾心鬥角，把你弄到身敗名裂，無地自容死亡，才能拿到你的這一份財產。不只是對另一半，對其他人也是如此。
在夢裡，我是很可憐的女子。為了活下來，我只能裝瘋賣傻，大家才對我沒有防心。為此，我得一直披頭散髮，不斷尖叫，像個瘋子般，讓人躲著我。只有在沒有人的時候，我才能夠做我自己，安靜地坐著，享受那安靜的片刻，不用再裝瘋賣傻。
後來場景轉換，我看到我自己變成一位老婦人，像是一位智慧長者，到處接受邀請，分享我過去的生活與經驗，介紹我嫁給大陸人的那段往事。
我說原本是個美滿的婚姻生活，但後來因為台灣這邊開始對大陸人有歧視，不接受大陸人，導致後來婚姻生活變成像是諜對諜，我不相信先生會照顧我，先生也認為我嫁他是有所求，想要分財產。整個社會被撕裂，彼此猜忌。後來就變成相互鬥爭，你不殺別人，別人也會想辦法要殺你。我為了生存下來，逢人就尖叫，裝瘋賣傻，讓別人以為我已經瘋了，就會饒我一命，完全沒有生活品質可言。
我在台上接受訪問。此時的我滿頭白髮，看起來無憂無慮，自我滿足，豐衣足食的生活狀態，過著獨居的生活…
