《The experience of entering society for the first time》
After being discharged from the military, Ashan prepared for the TOEFL while looking for work to earn some money—he couldn’t keep relying on his father after graduating from college. Eventually, he landed a position as an assistant engineer with a municipal engineering department in Taipei, earning nearly 2,000 NT dollars a month with bonuses—significantly more than his military pay.
Through an old friend from his village, Ashan learned that Xiao-Hui had found another boyfriend and was now pregnant. Her parents were furious, but fortunately, the boyfriend and his family adored her and had decided to marry her and immigrate to the United States together. The friend gave Ashan Xiao-Hui's phone number, suggesting he reach out since this might be their last chance to meet.
Ashan and Xiao-Hui met at New Park on a summer evening. When they first saw each other, neither spoke a word; they simply wandered aimlessly through the park. As the sky grew darker, they found a bench under a tree and sat down. With the dim light making it harder to see each other’s expressions, it felt easier to talk.
"Did you start seeing someone new?" Ashan asked, though he already knew the answer. Xiao-Hui responded bitterly, "You moved away like a kite with its string cut—no news, no letters. You’ve known about me for a while now, haven’t you? Are you here to blame me?"
"That’s not what I mean," Ashan said defensively. "I did go back to the village to look for you, but I found out you had moved too. I even wrote you a letter right away, but you never replied."
"I never got your letter. How could I reply if I didn’t receive it? But just because I didn’t reply, you stopped writing altogether?"
Ashan hesitated, unable to find the right words. The silence between them deepened.
"At the time, I was under so much pressure, preparing to graduate and join the military. Everything felt uncertain, and I just…"
"You just didn’t feel like writing to me, did you?" Xiao-Hui interrupted. "You were too busy worrying about yourself and didn’t care about how I felt."
"Please don’t blame me!" Ashan pleaded. "If you’d written to me, maybe things would’ve turned out differently."
"How could I dare write to you? Your mother would’ve blamed me for distracting you from your studies," Xiao-Hui retorted, tears streaming down her face.
Ashan panicked at the sight of her crying and quickly pulled her into an embrace, saying, "Don’t cry—it’s all my fault." But Xiao-Hui only sobbed harder, clinging to him tightly. "When you moved away, you only hugged me for a moment. That’s when I knew you didn’t truly care about me."
Realizing the conversation was going nowhere, Ashan shifted the topic. "Who is he? Is he good to you? When’s the wedding?" Xiao-Hui brushed off the details, mentioning only that the wedding was next month.
"And you? Don’t tell me you haven’t found someone new. What about that Ah-Mei? Doesn’t she have a thing for you?"
How perceptive women can be, Ashan thought. "Ah-Mei was my childhood playmate in Sanxia. I’ve always seen her as a little sister. Besides, she can’t even talk—how could we date?"
"Love isn’t about words; it’s about the heart," Xiao-Hui said. "If you truly cared, you wouldn’t have stopped writing to me."
Feeling the tension rise again, Ashan stood up. "The mosquitoes here are terrible. If we run into someone you know, it wouldn’t look good. Let me take you home."
On the bus, they held hands tightly the entire ride. When they arrived, Xiao-Hui asked for one last hug, then whispered in Ashan’s ear, "Goodbye, you who make me love and hate you at the same time."
"Xiao-Hui, please don’t hold on to hate. Let me sincerely wish you a life of happiness and joy," Ashan replied.
And so ended Ashan’s first romance—or what might have been his first love. As a man, he wasn’t entirely sure about his feelings, but he knew Xiao-Hui’s memory would remain in a special place in his heart for a long, long time.
《初入社會的生活體驗》
退伍後，阿三一面準備考托福，一面找事好先賺點錢，總不能大學畢業了還是吃老爸的。後來在台北市政府某工程單位找到了個助理工程員的職位，一個月連各種加給可以領到近兩千元，比當兵時好多了。
阿三從村子老友口中得知小蕙另外有了男朋友，而且還有了身孕，她父母非常生氣，好在那男孩子及家長都非常喜歡小蕙，已決定要把小蕙娶過門，然後全家一起移民美國。老友給了阿三小蕙的電話，建議阿三應該與小蕙聯絡一下，因為這可能是最後一次的見面機會。
小蕙與阿三在新公園見了面，是個夏日的黃昏，倆人見面時默默無語，只是在公園裏漫無目標地踱著步子，天色漸漸地暗了，倆人找個樹底下的椅子坐了下來。天黑了，比較看不清對方好像也比較好開口。
「妳是不是交了個要好的男朋友？」阿三明知故問，小蕙怨聲答道：「你自己搬了家，就像是斷了線的風箏，什麼消息都沒有。我的事你不是早就知道了嗎？是不是想要怪我？」「我不是這個意思，不過我曾經回過村子去找妳，才知道妳也搬了家，我還立刻寫了封信給妳，是妳一直沒有回信啊！」
「我真的沒有收到你這封信，如何給你回信呢？不過我沒回信，你就不再寫信給我啦？」阿三一時答不上來，接著就是一陣沉默。「那時候壓力很大，又將畢業當兵，只覺得前途茫茫，實在沒有.....」「沒有心情給我寫信對不對？只知道顧著自己，也不管別人的心情。」
「不要一直怪我嘛！如果妳寫了信給我，也許事情就不是這樣子了。」「我那敢寫信給你啊！你媽一定又要怪罪我耽誤你的學業。」說著說著，小蕙自覺委屈就哭了出來。阿三最怕看見女人掉淚，趕緊抱著小蕙直說：「不要哭了，都是我不好。」小蕙一聽，哭得更傷心，緊緊抱住阿三說道：「上次你搬家時，抱我只抱了一下下，我就知道你不是真心喜歡我。」
阿三知道再談下去也是沒結果，於是把話題一轉，「他是誰？對妳好不好？你們什麼時候結婚？」小蕙只是輕描淡寫把「他」交待過去，婚期就在下個月了。「你難道沒有交新女朋友嗎？那個阿美不是一直對你很有意思嗎？」
難道女孩子的心比較敏感嗎？「阿美是我小時候在三峽的玩伴，我一直都把她當作小妹妹，她又不不會說話，我怎麼和她交往啊？」「交朋友是交心，只要有心，那還需要一大堆廢話啊？你就是沒有心，才不繼續寫信給我的。」
阿三一聽話題又轉了回來，「公園裏蚊子多，待會兒如果再碰到熟人，恐怕對妳不好，還是讓我送妳回去吧！」
在公車上，倆人一直緊握住對方的手，下車後小蕙示意阿三再擁抱她一次，然後附在阿三的耳朵上輕聲說道：「再見了，你這個令我又愛又怨的人。」「小蕙，請不要再怨我了，讓我真心祝福妳從此幸福又快樂。」
就這樣，阿三結束了人生第一次的感情故事。不過他也不知道這算不算初戀，男孩子在感情方面是比較遲鈍，但是他知道他會把小蕙的影子藏在心中的某處，許久許久。
